June 29, 2011

Favorite Disney Prince Results

 Your favorite Disney prince has been crowned king (figurativly, because we know daddy isn't going to die anytime in the future...unless it's Mufasa...too soon?). The results were shocking, I could barely believe my eyes! Just kidding, I saw it coming from a mile away. I was pleasantly unsurprised. Anyways, I thought a healthy Pros and Cons (queue music from Jimmy Fallon) would kick things up a notch.

1. Prince Eric (The Little Mermaid): Of course. Ariel's eye candy takes the prize.

Pros: I won't deny he is very good looking. He has a nice smile and nice hair...very nice hair. He must use Horse n' Tail. I also like that he and his dog are such pals, nothing like male/dog bonding to make a woman's heart flutter...I guess. He is also the only one who ventures off land onto boats and stuff. He mingles with the commoners I suppose. For the most part, I'm guessing he got the female vote. He is a nice fellow but...

That awkward moment when the Prince realizes you
can't talk and therefore can't possibly be the OTHER ginger
he found on the beach.
Cons: ...HE IS SUCH A TOOL. First of all, he plays the flute. I have nothing against flute players, and think they make some sweet music, but it bothers me how he always plays it and stares off into the distance like some love sick puppy (even though he is one?) Then, he meets Ariel and has a love induced stroke because he thinks she's the one, and then when she can't talk, all he can say is "Oh shit, my bad. You're not her."

2. Aladdin (Aladdin): Dear anonymous, I'm sorry. Aladdin did not win. He came in second.

Pros: The kid shoots big, I'll give him that. Only "a diamond in the rough" riff raff/street rat wouldn't buy that...and would try to get with the princess. The thing about Aladdin is that he doesn't take back stage to the princess story...the movie is his story. Though not exactly a three dimensional character (what Disney character is?) he isn't the cardboard cutout of earlier princes either. He is a good guy but has faults, something that is probably more relatable than others. He also dresses tres chouette (very cool)! What other Disney guy wears MC Hammer pants and a vest with no shirt underneath? None. Because they can't touch this...outfit that he wears!

"I sense a hint of lavender, with a slight oakey flavor."

Cons: How they can magically change the law so Aladdin can become a prince is a fine example of plot settling. I suppose he was acting like "a prince" but it still makes you a little suspicious...or at least it does for me. But besides that, there isn't much wrong with Al. He can be kind of a douche at times, especially when the riches and fame go to his head. Is anyone else amused that his first two wishes are for himself, even though he of all people should be aware how much it sucks to be poor and hungry? Shouldn't he have wished for propserity among the poor?

Obviously not, fair readers! That would mess up the capitalistic society and feudal undertones that all Disney movies wish to convey...apparently. Man, I'm so tired of people writing web pages about how Disney is evil and teaches little kids class system and only rich people are attractive...blah, blah, blah...yet I still read them. They actually are pretty amusing and make sense...but STOP HATIN ON DISNEY! Give the guy a break, he just made movies. It wasn't like he was an anti semite or anything.............

All apart of the master plan? Nice glass of milk btw.


3. Prince Phillip (Sleeping Beauty): Nope, I'm not talking about the Queen's hubby (I hate that word)...because he would be numero uno, obviously.

Pros: I love Prince Phillip. He is without a doubt, my favorite Prince. If I was a cartoon, he would be my man all the way. Hell, if it wasn't weird that I have a crush on an animated figure, he would still be my man. Call me vanilla, but I find his classic good looks very princely and...well attractive. He also has my absolute favorite quote in any Disney movie: "Now, father, you're living in the past. This is the 14th century!" LOL! Why, I will never know. I just love this movie. Anyways, besides his looks and charms, he is still awesome. He kills a mofo dragon to be with his lady.

That hat is so 13th century


Cons: Wow. Unless I'm really picky, I can't find any. I guess it's just that he marries a girl because she is beautiful even though he barely knows her...and all that shit that we apparently are suppose to disaprove of. It's not like a prince is going marry some girl in the forest who he met through a sing along...EXACTLY. Point dissproved. Nothing wrong with him at all.

4. Prince Charming (Cinderella): The stalker takes fourth place. I'll tell you this, he is no Chad Michael Murray.


Pros: He will do what it takes to get his girl. You would think that after she dissapears he would use a saying I have heard over the years. I wise saying. A saying as old as time..."Girls are like buses. Another one comes around every ten minutes." But no. PC is going to find the girl with the glass slipper, dammit!

"These shoes rule."
Cons: So Prince Charming was in a princess movie back when the princes probably had a max of five lines, as well as uncreative names. You don't really see much of his personality... only that he REALLY REALLY wants to find Cinderella. It makes me curious. Does he have a drinking problem? Does he occasionally wet the bed? I feel like we don't know him at all. He probably was just looking for Cinderella so he could get the other glass slipper. Nothing says a manly prince like a matching pair of heels. Also, in the looks department, he is pretty ordinary. Nothing really to redeem him in my books.

The Beast (Beauty and the Beast): I feel bad that The Beast is second to last. Makes me pity him even more.


Pros: Well, one thing about The Beast is that he is wayyyyy more attractive than his human form (ladies, amirite?!?!). When he changes I always think "Ew change back! Change back!". I really think Disney could have done a better job at that. I mean, Belle managed to fall in love with him in that state, and when he FINALLY turns human it really doesn't seem like much of a trade up. I liked him as The Beast better. He had that whole "misunderstood creature" thing that I know in the past I said I dislike, but this is an exception.

OHHHH MY GOD! GET AWAY YOU SAVAGE BEAST!
Cons: Well besides the promotion of beastiality, there isn't much wrong with The Beast...ahhh who am I kidding? He probably is the one who needed the most work! Isn't the whole movie about Belle shaping him to be a civilized member of society? He has to work on his temper, his eating habits, and his compassion. He is so whipped.


Prince Charming (Snow White): Who?


Pros: He kissed a dead person. Some may call that deperate, but I call that romantic. Why else would Twilight be so popular? Ok, definitely not my best case. First beastiality and now necrophilia. Disney is one sick company. Anyways, Prince Charming does have a nice singing voice. He may be singing while he is creepin', but I still give him that. Ok. I realize now why he is last place. Does anyone else notice all my Pros are really just Cons in disguise?

"Oh...shit, your alive...uhm. Oh yeah, of course I knew
kissing you would make you wake up, baby!"
Cons: I feel like I succesfully addressed them in the pros section.


Well, now that I have succesfully attacked the Disney princes, I ask you to turn your attention to the new poll! I sort of lied when I said I was going to do a post before this one. That one needs some fine tuning and extra research, so like many-a-started posts, it's going in the drafting section. However, that made me think that I only need some encouragment to finish these un-loved posts. The new poll lets my small army of readers decide what my next post will be! I will probably eventually do all of them, but until then I want to know what YOU want.

The choices are as follows:

Historical Innacuracies in Disney Movies: Well, "historical" is pushing it. Most aren't based on history, but those that are or use historical references  will be ripped apart. No, not really. It's just good old fashioned fun. This also includes stories that are wrong (not fairytales, unless there is a very large difference). Probably for those who like to learn some new information or fun facts.

Movies I should like, but I don't: Don't confuse this for what I think are the "worst movies". No, this list is about movies that movie critics and family/friends say are great, yet I still manage not to like them. I'm scared for this list because it's like giving away a part of the deepest darkest depths of my soul. Pick this if you have ever wanted a legit reason to criticize me! Or, if you are curious about MY particular movie taste (those who liked My Favorite Movies of all Time or My Guitly Pleasure Movies will find this set up familiar).

Best Movie Music Montages: You know those parts in movies where instead of telling what happens, they show you without words through music? Like, when the main character wakes up and gets ready it plays a cheery song or during a training scene it plays an intense song? For example, the Rocky theme song when he is running and stuff, or in the Parent Trap with "Here comes the Sun"when twin number two is walking with her new found mum on the streets of London. The actors are not singing themselves, it's just music in the background known only to the viewer. Gettit? If this makes sense and sounds interesting, vote for it!

Most Annoying Movies Sequels: This one is not just going to be movie sequels that everyone knows are bad, but the ones that particularly touch a nerve with me. We all know the Bring it On sequels shouldn't have been made, but I still watch them because they are "so bad, they're good". No, these sequels are ones that have either ruined the first movie for me by being so bad and just...annoying. Passions will run deep with this one. If you like a good rant, vote for this.

June 26, 2011

Random Ramlings Part I (Vote in the Poll!)

So I haven't had much time to do any blogging this week. This is mostly due to the laziness and happenings of summer, my studying for the ASVAB, soccer practice, and being at my beach house for the last three days. Oh, also I haven't exactly had a computer. My laptop has been in a non-working condition for about 2 months and I have been too lazy to get it fixed, or I just haven't had enough discipline to save money for repairs.

I thought one of these was appropriate.
 MYSPACE 4 LYFE? No.
At least they could've ryhmed

 So, I had been using my mom's extra computer but last week it got a virus (I have a problem with electronic devices), so I have been relying on my phone and the charity of my dad and brother for internet access. Anyways, once I get back home things will probably be much faster. Not that I really have too many followers to upset with my lack of posts...but still! I haven't had enough time to write a full post. I also haven't been writing reviews because for the last two weeks  because I have only gone to the movies to see LOTR extended edition (with introduction by Peter Jackson!)

However, I wanted an update because there are only 22 hours left to vote in the poll! Please make the tiniest effort to click your mouse on your answer. I swear it takes 2.2 seconds. I like to have a lot of people vote...

Anyways, so what's new with me and the movie watching? Well, since I have been at the beach, I have watched five movies. ALL of them have been mostly by myself despite having my friend and brother in a fifty foot radius. That's ok with me, I like watching movies alone. This is a mini list I suppose. Just the past few movies I have watched. Very informal.

Starting off! I watched Snatch, a pretty underrated movie directed  by Guy Ritchie. There are a lot of people in this movie, most notably Brad Pitt in one of my favorite performances of his. The movie is fast paced and has some very, very, very funny parts. I don't think a lot of people know this movie but it is super good.

Fight Club part deux? Nope.


Next, I watched The Departed. It is obviously one of my Favorite Movies of all Time so it was naturally amazing. The last 45 minutes are unbeatable for me. It's a long movie and I'm sure it gets wearing, but the last third it pure adrenaline rushing badassness. Every time...every time.

Then I watched Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Another one of my favorites...actually THE FAVORITE. I didn't finish the whole thing because I started to realize I was watching what I wanted to watch only, plus we were going to have a bonfire. So, I'm saving the golden ending for another day! Best movie ever. Gets LOL's from me all the time. I was also eating a taco with Newman's Own salsa . FATE.

 delicious, delicious.

After much bullying from my friend who is with me (kidding), I watched The Black Cauldron, a Disney movie made in the 80's just prior to the Disney Renaissance (post pending on just that!). I have never seen it but was told it was good by said friend. It wasn't that great. I'm not saying it was bad, just not up to my friend's hype. The plot confused me, the villian was mediocre, and the ending was eh. However, there were some good parts. The little companion was endearing and I thought the budding romance was cute. I know it isn't supposed to be a classic but it was definitely not the reaction I expect from a Disney movie. Mulan on the other hand...

...does just that for me. I just finished watching it. Not my absolute favorite Disney film, but it certainly does get a reaction from me. Great songs and great characters. Mulan is my favorite Disney heroine. She isn't looking for love or freedom...she is doing something for her family and finding herself. I think in that aspect, this movie is deeper than some of the other's in the Disney line-up. Most Disney movies don't make me cry, but this one does. I am truly happy (I know, it's very strange that I'm so emotionally attached to a drawing) for Mulan because she became a hero...and then when her father throws that "honoring stuff" on the ground and tells her that having her as his daughter is his greatest honor...oh shit, the tears begin to fall.

Anyways, so that has been what I have been watching this weekend! I also would like to add briefly the movies I had watched during the last few weeks of school, because that was some good stuff to be watched.

Tangled: Pretty decent movie. The songs are weak and I don't care for Rapunzel too much. I like Flynn Ryder and when he has the lanterns for her on the boat to launch, he becomes my dream man. Thought the ending resolution was rocky. Philadelphia: Didn't see the whole thing. I thought Tom Hanks had a good performance and I appluad him for doing such a film. I looked up the rest on Wikipedia and was unimpressed because it was predictable, however I thought the movie was very compassionate and eye opening. Les Miserables: I was very surprised at how great this movie was. Mother of Pearl! I loved it. This was the version with Liam Neeson and Geoffrey Rush, and I was captivated. My class didn't appreciate my enthusiasm but I'm sure the people who made the movie would! The Princess Bride: What to say about this movie that I haven't? Exactly.

A Disney sidekick I actually like. Pascal is awesome


Well, that's my update. I hope you at least mildly enjoyed it. I have a new extra on the sidebar called Lingo Translations that I hope will add a little flair and insight into my blog! Please, check it out! Also, I can't stress this enough...VOTE IN THE POLL. The results post will be up maybe next week...maybe. I have another post I am making that will be less generic than my usual Top blah blah blah list. Ciao. I hope everyone is having a fantastic summer thus far!

June 14, 2011

Favorite Member of the Fellowship

The results are in! The greatest member has been choosen! Anyways, I'm sure some are curious to why I have randomly asked your favorite? Well, for one thing, I had stated The Fellowship of the Ring as my third favorite movie of all time. Those reasons included my appreciation for the bro-ness that The Fellowship developed. They were like a fraternity! I'm sure they all exchange christmas cards every year. Now, the other reason...the reason I am most excited for, is the re-release of The Fellowship (extended edition with introduction by Peter Jackson) tonight!


I could have listed my favorite member of The Fellowship in order and graced you with my marvelous opinions, however I decided that was no fun. Instead, I took a poll asking YOU what you thought! Of course, I'll still grace you with my opinion but hopefully you feel a little special that I wanted to know what you think! I wasn't surprised who won, but almost everything else surprised me. I don't cast any blame. It was a hard call...when I was beginning the original list I wasn't sure how I was even going to rank! You could either go with who was most important (obviously that would be Frodo) or you could go with you you liked the best...I don't judge either way. Well, I do a little.




1. Legolas - Orlando Bloom: I was a little dissapointed with Legolas winning the majority of the votes. Yeah, he is pretty damn awesome...but there is no substance! He is better in the books. In the movies he is downgraded to supplying comic relief, cool battle scenes, and obvious statements ("A diversion!" yep). Don't get me wrong, I understand why everybody loves Legolas (and Raymond). What's not to love? He has long blond hair, can handle a bow, and is immune to getting injured.


This is slightly reminiscent of a skit I am doing in French
yeah, that's a teaser
 I was once a Legolas fangirl...as I assume most of the people who voted for him are. I will admit it was because he is attractive and has mesmerizing golden locks. I don't really feel that way anymore. Maybe I'm wiser now, or perhaps Orlando Bloom just doesn't get the same thrill out of me as he once did (seriously, when was the last time he was even in a movie?). Anyways, I still like him...however if this was my opinion, he would be mid rank. However, he does get EXTREME cool points because he is part of my favorite scene in the whole trilogy!



YESSSSSSSSSSS


Memorable Line: "A DIVERSION!"



2. Frodo -Elijah Wood: Personally, Frodo was last on my list. I can't stand the little bugger. I think he is a grade A whiner. I know, I know, he is being possessed by the ring...but really, i feel we could see the tool gene in him long before he got the ring. In all reality, if it hadn't been for Smeagol, who knows if the ring would have even been destroyed! If it takes someone biting off your finger in order for you to get your ass in gear, you have some serious problems.

He is like an innocent deer in the headlights...except I would
have it him with my car.

 I know that that ring wouldn't have been destroyed if he hadn't carried it, however, he would have been dead from day one if it wasn't for every other character. If it wasn't for Aragorn, he would have been dead at the Prancing Pony or Weathertop. If it wasn't for Arwen he would have been dead at the Ford of Bruinen. If it wasn't for Bilbo, he would have been killed in the Mines of Moria. If it wasn't for Gandalf, he would have been killed by the fire demon. If it wasn't for Aragorn, the orcs would have had him. Galadriel saves him with the phial of light. If it wasn't for Sam, he would have been toast multiple times. Even Smeagol saved his ass! Frodo is like a baby. He gets all the credit but he is really useless. It's everyone else who does all the work! I will never understand.


Memorable Line: "I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened." YEAH WELL ALL DO FRODO, WE ALL DO.

3. Aragorn- Viggo Mortensen: He is so hot....sorry I had to say that right now or else I wouldn't be able to write this because thinking of his attractiviness would eat at my soul. He is just so ruggedly good looking....something I dig, yah knowwww? Apparently though, this attractiviness is dimmed by Legolas and his barbie hair (I realize I was just complimenting it). As my friend said of Aragorn when we were watching the movies together, "But he is only man!" It appears one is either just an Aragorn or a Legolas.  I expected him to be first or second. He got a decent amount of votes, just not enough to beat the elf-hobbit monster. Personally, I think he is great. He just has that certain je ne sais quoi. Well, no...we know what it is.  

Hey so...you...uh...come here often?
 Everyone respects him, the girls wanna get with him (yeah, I'm talking about you Eowyn), and guys wanna be him.  He is pretty kickass as well. That scene in The Fellowhip where the orcs come and he is like "Frodo get the hell outta here", and then he turns to face a bajillion of them without any fear...words cannot describe how badass that is. Aragorn doesn't take shit from anyone, yet he is pretty humble considering he is heir to Gondor. Of course, he is heir-in-exile but that is a minor detail. Oh, to be king. ALL HAIL MACBETH. Wait. Nope, that is not right.


Most Memorable line: " Let's hunt some orc."

4. Gimli- John Rhys- Davies: So pretty much  Gimli is the creepy uncle of the group. He is short and gingery. I don't really have any hard feelings either way for him. I appreciate the friendship that he and Legolas develop. I think it shows that prejudice can be put aside when you get to know a person. Their little killing orc count is probably his only memorable part. Ha. That little competition is great...comic relief at it's best.



He had the craziest look in his eyes.
And at one point he said, "Lets get it on."



5. Merry- Dominic Monaghan: I like Merry much more on Lost. I did not expect him to get more than one vote...color me surprised. I can't believe he beat Pippin. I like him a lot... he just doesn't do much. The only thing I can think of is when he almost gets his face smashed by the horse and when he says "He's leaving" as Frodo puts on the ring. He is much more intelligent in the books. In the movies, he and Pippin are more bros who just mess around.


4 8 15 16 23 42

 Most Memorable Line:  "I know you've run out. You smoke too much, Pip." LOL

6. Sam- Sean Astin: So, Sam, Gandalf Pippin were tied. I put Sam ahead because in a tie, I get the final say AND Sam had a lead over them from the beginning. I don't particularly care for Sam, yet I recognize he is a very significant member. He is the real hero of the story. If it wasn't for Sam, Frodo would have never made it to Mordor. I have to fast forward through the part where Frodo makes Sam leave because his little face kills me. I really feel for him. Especially, since he wouldn't have even had to go through all of that if Gandalf hadn't caught him droppin' eaves.



It's The Goonies all over again.

Sam is just super annoying and is pretty much Frodo's bitch. He also has too many reminiscent moments where he is talking about The Shire and then the cheesy music comes on (yeah, you know what music I'm talking about). Urgh. If he didn't do those things, his awesomeness would have been much more appreciated.


Most Memorable Line: "Come on, Mr. Frodo. I can't carry it for you... but I can carry you!" That was the point where Sam stopped annoying me...too bad it was in the last 45 minutes of the movie (because the last 20 were devoted to pointless endings).

7. Pippin - Billy Boyd: Both Merry and Pippin were used as comic relief in at least the first movie. Pippin is definitely the better of the two. He gets into all sorts of mischief. Like when he hits the skeleton down the well and Gandalf yells at him. I love it. He also has some good one liners. Pippin actually has purpose in the film as well. He is the one who gets possessed by the palantir and he saves Faramir! He has a lovely singing voice too, it takes up like ten minutes of screen time, but I appreciate it nevertheless.  He is my favorite hobbit. The only one who doesn't annoy the hell out of me.



I know you're surprised...Pippin is Bl...arely wearing a
shirt! Queue jazz hands!
Most Memorable Line: "What about second breakfast?"


8. Galdalf- Ian McKellan: This was the greatest shock of my life...Gandalf gets only one vote?!?!  (Update: In the final hour, Gandalf got another vote! However, I kept him below Sam and Pippin in the tie because I wanted you to all feel the disgrace). I think what happened was that everyone has Gandalf as their second or third favorite, therefore he didn't get any love. I was very upset. He was third on my list.  I think Gandalf is so BA. He knows what is up.
I hope I never dissapoint Gandalf and have
him give me that face.

Many a comparisons are made between Galdalf and Dumbledore. However, I find them very different...the main one being I can't stand Dumbledore. Gandlalf on the other hand is one badass mo-fo. He may seem like a nice cuddly grandfather figure but he can be a hardass when he wants to. He yells at the hobbits a lot...because they are little babies. His breakdance battle with Sauron is amazing. Two old guys duking it out. Classic.

Most Memorable Line: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
9. Boromir- Sean Bean:  I was not surprised, yet still extremely dissapointed to see Boromir get only on vote...especially since it was my own :(.  I think we have established that I have incredible love towards the man. Not only is he played by my favorite, Sean Bean, he also is a giant asshole...well, kinda. I think Boromir is the best member because he is Tolkien's way of showing that anyone is susceptible to the ring's power. However, he gets a bad rep because everybody chooses to forget this, and instead say he is the guy who tries to molest Frodo (to soon?) to get the ring....or something like that. I personally think he is just one complicated dude.


Aww so presh! <3
He may seem like a poopy face but no matter what he said or did before, you cannot deny he redeemed himself in the end. I think Boromir had good intentions, but c'mon...it's the one ring to rule them all! Look what happened to Frodo. Exactly.You can tell he has a soft spot for the hobbits (midget fetish?), especially Merry and Pippin. It's kind of sweet. Also, when he is dying, he has a hearfelt moment with Aragorn...it chokes me up a little. He knows what he did was wrong. I <3 him forever and always. When he dies, I die a little inside.


Most Memorable Line: "I would have followed you my brother, my captain, my king." You should see the look on my face right now. <3 <3 <3



OR


"ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY WALK INTO MORDOR" Just a classic.

Also, I had to watch another Sean Bean character die in Game of Thrones last night...so the wound has become fresh (literally). What? You have never seen Game of Thrones? It is only the newest additton to HBO's line up, based on George R.R. Martin's  epic fantasy series. It is great. I know I shouldn't t promote books or T.V on this, but if you like epic fantasy (really, really low amount of fantasy, more like medieval political intrige with wars and stuff...like Braveheart meets LOTR except with a very unorthodox formula) and are willing to devote a lot of time to reading (each book is a little under 1000 pages) then go for it. For more info, check it out here on amazon. Both the books and the show are amazing. BTW, I now expect a check from the author, since I just seriously pimp promoted his book. Ok, sorry. BIG side note, I know.


I am probably the only one who finds
this humorous.

So there they are, the members of The Fellowship in all their glory! However,  I would like to complain about all the fan fiction drawings I had to sift through while looking for decent photos online. Some of them were truly disturbing. Because I had to face this strangness to make my post beautiful, you must suffer as well. The following were the best of the worst fan drawings. They are super creepy. I had multiple WTF moments. People have wayyyy to much time on their hands (though I am one to talk). If you scare easily, do not continue.


It get's weirder.

UHMM...incest? Yup.
This  the result of Frodo and Smeagol having
children. I actually am not sure who this is
supposed to be.
HOW DOES THIS HAVE ANY
RELEVENCE?! and does
Aragorn

look like his name should be David? or is that just me?

I don't even know where to begin

The author named this one
"Aragorn spies Legolas Bathing " uh...wat?

LOL every time.  I want to meet who
did this.

So there it is! I'm off to Rivendell...or I guess the movie theater...I'm super pumped! This list got me even more excited for the beauty that is Lord of the Rings. If you can't go tonight, they will also be playing The Two Towers next Tuesday and The Return of the King the Tueday after that! It is really a once in a lifetime opportunity...sort of.  Thanks to everyone who voted! Any ideas for the next poll? Please let me know! Untl then, Ciao for now!

June 11, 2011

Most Iconic Movie Fashion Moments

You know what I'm talking about...those outfits that somehow steal the entire show. Fashion is very important in the movies. If the actors don't look good, then it takes away from the overall experience. This is especially true in period films and musicals. However, though most of this list falls into either of those categories, a few are just so spectacular that they set the fashion for the time they were made and set in. The following are the outfits that spawned a million halloween costumes, as well as becoming pop culture icons.

1. Marilyn Monroe- The Seven Year Itch: Ahhhh the dress that launched a thousand zips (ahhhh you see what I did there?). Everyone knows this dress. The white skirt being blown up by subway grate is a classic scene that has been recreated in a few movies (my favorite is Blades of Glory). Marilyn is usually depicted in this dress through imitations and statues (see below).

Only Marilyn Monroe could makes something as embarrasing as getting your dress blown up look playful and sexy. This has happened to me before and I will tell you now, it was neither of those things. It was a very ungraceful moment and I think my only audience was a couple of hobos. Maybe it's just the dress. It's stylish and flattering.This dress would look good on pretty much anyone. If it was black, I would be all over that like a shirt (err dress?).


SCANDALOUS! I mean, everyone knows you
shouldnt wear white after labor day.

Fun fact: Rumour Has It, this dress may have contributed to the ending of Monroe's marriage to baseball legend Joe DiMaggio (where did you go?). He thought the dress was too revealing (haha) and didn't like the attention it got from the media during filming in NYC.


SHE IS EVERYWHERE

2. Audrey Hepburn- Breakfast at Tiffany's: I have a secret...I don't like this movie. I have never cared for it. The only worthwhile part is...yeah you guessed it... the opening scene with her having breakfast at Tiffany's. This is when she is wearing the classic LBD (little black dress for those of you who aren't in the know).

Though the LBD is really Coco Chanel's brainchild, it wasn't a fashion staple until the 60's when Hepburn donned hers - pearls and all! I'm pretty sure you can go to just about any store that sells home accesories  and find a piece of "artwork" with some version of this scene (CASE IN POINT). I have one hehe. Audrey Hepburn was always a fashion icon but this outfit takes the croissant as her most iconic.


Only someone who is wearing something
like that could look ultra classy stuffing
a croissant into their mouth outside
 a jewlrey store.

Fun Fact: The dress was made by famous fashion designer Hubert de Givenchy.

3. Olivia Newton John - Grease: Oh yes, the classic scene. Olivia Newton John wearing those black skin tight pants, red heels, and big hair. I used to think she looked super cool, but then as I thought about it in my older (therefore wiser) years, I realized that Sandy had to dress slutty in order to win Danny. What a wonderful lesson!

However, the scene is still great. She pulls off her jacket, while smoking a cigarette, AND THEN she kicks off of Danny as he is on the ground. Wooeeee. I'm always like "YEAH! she ain't nice Sandy no more!" I think that bad Sandy shows all of us that it's ok if we let down our hair (or in her case, make it five times wider) and dance with John Travolta in a fun house. Few people could pull this outfit off...if you can, well more power to ya.


Tell me about it...stud

Fun Fact: During the filming of this scene, Olivia Newton John had to be sewn into the pants due to the zipper breaking.

4. Vivian Leigh-Gone with the Wind: Ok, here's the situation. Scarlett needs money for the upkeep of Tara. Naturally, she would turn to the rich Rhett Butler who is probably willing to help her out...since he is in love with her. DUH.  However, he can't know she is in desperate need of cash. With no new dresses, what's a girl to do? Make a dress out of curtains of course!

 Scarlett's resourcfullness shows just how much of a badass she is. The girl will do anything to keep from "never going hungry again". God, I love her so much (just another example of how I always enjoy the assholes in movies). This is probably one of my favorite scenes from the movie. She glances at the curtains and raises her eyebrow... you just know. CLASSIC.

The tassles don't give it away at all!

Fun Fact: I'm popping in my special edition set of GWTW at this very moment! I was inspired. Opps, nope. I just found Singin' in the Rain in my VHS player...I thought it was at my beach house! I think we all know who wins this round. Please refer to My Favorite Movies of All Time if this choice puts you for a doozy.

5. John Travolta- Saturday Night Fever: Ahhhh what a movie. It has my three favorite things...Bee Gees, disco, and crazy cool medallions! In Saturday Night Fever, Travolta embodies all of these, while also wearing some sweet threads. I think we must applaud John Travolta and his ability to wow us with not only his dancing (yeah!) but his fashion taste as well.

Random thought: Imagine him as the groom
for a disco themed wedding...

Fun Fact: Disco was on the decline when this movie came out (NEVER! Disco didn't die!) so John Travolta actually had to go searching in used clothing stores for his snaztastic outfits.

Instead of a picture, I thought it was appropriate to post some actual dancing.  Patience...I know it's long. The first dance comes a few minutes in and the white polyester pantsuit comes on around 6:40...because I know that's what you were really looking for.



6. Cinderella-Cinderella: Unfourtanetly, I'm not cool enough to know who the voice of Cinderella was. Even if I did, I'm sure nobody would care. It's not like it was Morgan Freeman or something. Anyways, I had a hard time with this one. I knew I wanted a Disney princess to be on the list, because they totally set fashion...at least for 10 year old girls....around Halloween. I narrowed it down to Belle and Cinderella. Cinderella won out in the end, because when I asked my friend (who is a Disney princess connoiseur) both she and her mother agreed Cinderella was the appropriate choice.

 I think that is fair. When brides are talking about their wedding dress, they don't say "I want to look like Belle" they say, "I want to look like mutha flippin Cinderella!" (sorry, gotta keep things clean...you know what I meant). Also, the shoes. The glass slippers. Truly awesome, yet I can also imagine, very uncomfortable. Cinderella's dress is just classy. It's a nice color and nice cut. I tried draw it when I was younger because I liked it so much...I failed miserably.


Why was Cinderella no good at playing baseball?
Because she was always running away from the ball!
BAHAHA


Fun Fact: I once read somewhere that from the original Perrault fairytale there may have been a mistranslation, as in the slippers were actually fur, not glass. This is because the french word for glass is "verre" and the word for fur is "vair". However, my quick google search yeilded results saying this is just a myth. Whatever, still sounds cool.

7. Marilyn Monroe - Gentlemen Prefer Blondes: Is it really fair that she gets to be on the list twice? Of course it is! It's Marilyn Monroe! And though this dress isn't as iconic as her other on the list, the scene is. Her performance of "Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend" is one of the best in move history. Besides that, the outfit is awesome! The hot pink dress, with the long matching gloves and bow. Oh, and we can't forget the diamonds! I personally like this dress better in the "iconic" scene sense, however I felt that the pop culture gods would skin me alive if I put this ahead of the white dress.


Pffff nice dog collar...sorry, couldn't resist mate

Fun Fact: I don't really know much about the dress. I do however know that the song is ranked # 12 in AFI's most important movie songs of all time and I just know it's because of the dress.

8. Kate Winslet- Titanic: Ok, I know this is sort of pushing it because all her dresses in this film should be in a hypothetical "Best Movie Wardrobes" (possible list? perhaps). This may not be the most spectacular of her dreess, however, since this is the one where all the action happens in (ALL kinds of action if ya know what I mean!!!), I decided it was the best for the list. It's so pretty, with all the layers of pastel colored chiffon.She also swims (I say that lightly) in this dress...so really it's also a bathing suit....


Hold meh closer tiny dancer

Fun Fact: This dress is called the "swim dress". All the dresses apparently have names that correspond with the scene they are in...

9. Kiera Knightley -Atonement: Time will tell if this dress is truly iconic, however from my research, it appears this dress is on ALL the lists. I thought this dress was beautiful as well. The color is unique and the fabric luxuriously amazing. It fits her to a glove...a lot of people say that she looks like a skeleton...but my, she is a damn fabulous skeleton.  To sum it all up, this dress is absouletly stunning.


Lightin' up in style

Fun Fact: The dress was designed to give a feeling of "semi nakedness" since it cuts so close to Knightley's body. This is probably appropriate for the scene she wears it in...bow chicka wow wow...

10. Harrison Ford -Indiana Jones: I thought this list needed another man, so who better than Dr. Jones?! I used to babysit this kid who would wear a fedora and carry around a jump rope he pretended was bullwhip. That was when I knew that job was going to work out beautifully (that, and the light saber battles we always had). Anways, Indiana Jones is probably the coolest guy ever. He has the whole rugged look going for him. With him, it's all about the accesories... he single handedly made the a man purse acceptable. Just ask Alan.

Fedora? Check. Whip? Check
Man Purse? Check. Fabulous

Fun Fact: There is an entire page devoted to information on Indy's fedora. I was hoping to get a cool fact but TLDR. seriously. If you're curious, you can read it here.

Only a couple more days until the LOTR poll is over! There are a lot of ties at the moment...so make sure your favorite wins. VOTE. VOTE. VOTE!

June 7, 2011

Top Ten Guilty Pleasure Movies

I feel super uncomfortable with that title. For the record, this post is about the movies I hate to love. However, if they are bad movies, I promise I have a good explanation for why I love them. Actually, as I was writing this, I realized that some of these movies could be on My Favorite Movies of all Time, except I didn't want to lose my street cred by saying so.

So what makes a movie a guilty pleasure? Well, pretty much if you are embarrassed to admit your love for it/ the lines are so bad they're good/it's lame, yet you always find yourself watching it...then it's a guilty pleasure movie! These types of movies are a very important part of the viewing of films. If we take our movie viewing too seriously, we can never truly enjoy them. There is no shame (yes there is. especially if it's From Justin to Kelly ) in liking a bad film.

1.The Mummy (1999): I’m proud/ashamed to admit that I know every line of dialouge from this movie.Of course, it's not hard when every line is absolute gold. Like most seven year old girls in the early 2000's, I had a crush on Brenden Fraser (Wait? You say I was the only one? DAMN). Thus, I watch The Mummy more times than I care to admit. This movie started my early fascination with ancient Egypt...I used to check out countless books on the topic in my elementry school library. I thought I was really smart. I would love to be able to say that I don't watch it much anymore, but alas, I am watching it right now.


I pretty much just summed up the movie
for you with this picture

I think I liked The Mummy because of the action, adventure, and overall kick ass-ness. The storyline is interesting and I feel like there aren't many plot holes, considering how ridiculous it is. Rachel Weisz's character was my childhood hero. She was everything I wanted to be. She was super smart. She got together with Brenden Fraser's character in the end (Thinking back, I realize I really should have re-examined my priorities in life).


Anyways, I still love this movie. Corny action/adventure and all! Plus, the first one is not nearly as corny as it's sequels. The third one is absolutely unwatchable.


Best Corny Line: "I only gamble with my my life, never my money"


2. Silverado(1985): Easily one of the corniest movies ever, Silverado is the ultimate salute to the Western film genre. It has about every single cliche that you could ask for. However, it is actually a very good film. It is just so...awesome. There are some good fight scenes and "so bad it's good"dialouge. With such corntastic roles from Kevin Kline, Kevin Costner, John Cleese, Danny Glover, Scott Glenn, Jeff Goldbum, and the badass Lind Hunt, I ask you...what is not to love?



Imagine them riding in with Space Cowboy by NSYNC
playing in the background.















Best Corny Line:
Emmett [holds up pistol]: "Want one of these?"
Mal [holds up Henry rifle]: "This oughta do."


3. National Treasure (2004): Like The Mummy, I really liked National Treasure because of it's focus on history and the female lead (don't worry, I never had a thing for Nic Cage). Diane Kruger is awesome. I wish she was in more movies. Inglorious Basterds is the only one I can think of right now. It also has Sean Bean (loveeee youuu) as the villian. 

Nic Cage is studying the number of calories
in water very carefully.

Anyways, for obvious reasons, National Treasure is super corny. Mostly because every single word out of Nicholas Cage's voice is a goldmine of deep voice wisdom. I enjoy the part when they are underground and there is that endless pit of nothing...scares the hell out of me. I have always wished there are actually secret tunnels and stuff like that in famous buildings, or inventions by BFranks hidden in bricks. Maybe there are (woah I'm being super deep today). Perhaps I will become a treasure hunter when I grow up. I'll be Nic Cage's apprentice...his sorcerers apprentice. Ahhhh see what I did there?

Best Corny Line: "I'm going to steal the Declaration of Independence!" (obviously)


4.Taken (2008): My dad made me watch this movie at least three times before I went to France. Needless to say, I thought I was going to be kidnapped and sold into a sex slave empire. It didn't happen (although this creepy guy did try to smell my neck...but that's a story for another day) so I was able to watch Taken again. Thank god, because this movie is too great. From the first scene, you know it is going to be a Liam Neeson good time! I also find it amusing that of all the teenagers that the foreign slave trade dude could have "taken", he picked the one who's father used to kick ass for a living. How unfair!




I hug my friends the same way


If it wasn't Neeson, it would have been a terrible movie. Somehow he keeps it fresh and somewhat (I say that very,very,very lightly) believable. However, this movie is really not as much as an action thriller as one might think. It's pretty predictable. A friend of mine once said of this movie "What? Nothing even happened to his daughter. I was hoping she would get killed or something." Besides that being a horrible thing to say, it's very true. Despite all that, this is a highly satisfying movie...in a guilty pleasure way of course!



Best Corny Line: "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."

5.She’s the Man (2006): For reasons I can't fully comprehend, this movie makes me laugh out loud every time. And not in that "haha this script is so bad, I'm laughing". I legitimately think this movie is funny. It doesn't really fall under the corny movie category (except the part where she is playing soccer in the pink dress. I cringe because it is so lame). The best parts are when Amanda Bynes is in drag. Her little round face just makes me laugh. She has pretty good timing and I like the snappy dialouge. This is a teen movie, so I doubt adults will see the charm...however, I fall into this age group...so I find joy in this film.



Nothing I could say would be funnier than the picture
itself

This movie does have flaws. I know I have built it up to be the greatest comedy of all time (haha). It isn't. I don't like the ending or any scene when Amanda Bynes is actually a girl (with the exception of the bathroom fight). Channing Tatum is awkward. I don't find his character appealing, even though he is the outside cocky jock who is really just a sensitive shy-with-girls guy...I'm sorry, is that supposed to be attractive?

Best Line: "I skipped a couple grades. I'm brilliant. Shhh."

6. Footloose (1984): I just watched the end of this movie (different day than when I was watching The Mummy). It is one of my favorite endings. I actually don't really like this movie that much...except for the dance scenes! That is why this movie fits under such a category, because the dance scenes are soooo cheesey. I couldn't even pick a favorite but if I did, it would either be "Let's Hear it for the Boy" (when Ren teaches Willard how to dance) or the end dance scene where "Footloose" plays. Kenny Loggins will always be my man. That scene is truly epic. I wish people danced like that at school dances...instead they prefer to hump each other on the dance floor... but to each his own. You know, for a bunch of hicks who apparently aren't allowed to dance...they got some moves! For your viewing pleasure, I give you FOOTLOOSE! (The intro is stupid. I couldn't find a better one)




Best Corny Line:  "You're a goddamn hero when it's five to one" [Karate kick IN THE FACE]

7. The Benchwarmers: This is actually the best baseball movie ever made...haha just kidding. Although, I do think it's funny. I don't care that it is mindless laughter. I still laugh. I am actually LOLing at the moment as I'm looking at the quotes from this movie.  David Spade, Rob  Schneider, the guy from Napolean Dynamite? UHHHH YEAH OF COURSE IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT. The best scene is without a doubt the one with the Cuban (or Dominican, I'm not good with nationalities) illegal baseball player...I like the music they play when he is running around the field....anyways, it is a pretty stupid movie but it's dear to my heart. BEEF STEW! BEEF STEW!
I wear a helmet when I play baseball
too!



Best Line: "Wow,I always wondered who lived here, I just thought it was Clay Aiken or something."



8. Hocus Pocus (1993): I used to rent this A LOT. This was back when blockbuster was actuallyused.Even today, it is one of my staple Halloween movies. I can't get through october without watching it. This is one of those movies you think nobody else likes, and then you mention it and they're like "OMGGGGG I LOVE HOCUS POCUS". I actually was never ashamed of this movie until two years ago when I was watching it. I started to realize how unbelievably corny it is, as well as how many innuendos there are.


 Pretty much every line that comes out of the main guys mouth makes me cringe a little. It could be because he is actually super creepy. The best thing in the movie is the witches...the Sanderson Sisters. Ahhh so great. I wish they were real (I am no longer a child, I don't fear them eating me or whatever). I also like the cat (his human version is McGee from NCIS!). He is pretty darn sarcastic. Despite all these things, this movie is the best. No Halloween is complete without watching it.


I haven't seen someone so excited to see a book
since the King Jame's Bible came out!

Best Corny Line: "Of course, I couldn't wear anything like that because I don't have any - what do you call them, Max? Yabbos?"


 I used to call boobs yabbos...then I turned 5....

9. The Princess Diaries (2001): Honestly, this shouldn't even be a guilty pleasure movie. It has Julie freakin Andrews in it! That's like saying The Sound of  Music is too corny (uhmm...actually it is) to be a good film. I love this movie. It is just so on par with my high school experience. I mean, one day I was just a girl with frizzy hair who people sat on accidentally, then the next I was told I was a princess! Of course, I ended up being trapped in a meat locker in Siberia for a couple days...turns out I wasn't a princess...it was just an internet ad that I fell for...

I wouldn't want to meet THAT in a dark alley.


Anyways, I have seen this movie so many times. I can't even begin to explain it's magic. I love the end when they are all dancing, I love the softball scene, and I love the foot poppin' kiss!

Best Corny Line: "I don't want to rule my own country, I just want to pass the tenth grade!"


 10. Legally Blonde (2001): This movie made me want to be a lawyer. Of course, I soon realized that if I became one, I probably couldn't win most of my cases by analyzing a witness's choice of hairstyle. This movie is plain awesome. It's always on T.V. I probably watch it about five times a year. Really, if you are not charmed by Elle Wood's, there is something wrong with you. Also, who can forget the bend and snap? It has a 98% effectiviness!

She just realized that the last time her hairstyle
looked even remotely good was 1987


 I know the plot is predictable and the romance is cliche, but this movie is just so great I look past all of it. This movie just makes me happeh. I could watch it a million times and never get bored. It has a good cast. Reese Witherspoon before she became an A-lister. Luke Wilson before he got fat and did AT&T commercials...oh, yes...his glory days indeed! As well as many other actors we all know and love.


Best Corny Line: "Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated."


So, there they are! My top guilty pleasure movies. I actually would like to rename this Favorite Movies of All Time part II, because that is what they really are. Hehe. Anyways, ciao for nowwwwww.